Like a pocket anchor, this week’s episode is a race to the bottom for three crew members. Who is the worst? Is it Jess who can’t seem to work with anyone and he wants to complain because he hates Faye? Is it Seth who can’t be nice to anyone he doesn’t want to sleep with and he thinks no one works hard enough but falls asleep on the job? Or is it Captain Kerry who can’t figure out a way to handle these other two and is probably responsible for the completely toxic work environment on the ship?
As the episode begins, we’re still in the middle of the fight that started in the last episode, where Jess wants to make pizzas for the guests and not feed them after their horseback riding, and Faye wants her to make some snacks for the end. of your trip. Jess just flat out refuses to listen to Jess and turns her back on him, changing the plan they had just arranged. She then says that you have to go with the flow in sailing. She tells Faye, “Do what you have to do. I will do what I have to do. Both of you need to please your guests and they will be much more pleased if they can coordinate those efforts and forget about their egos. (But not your Eggos. Guests love waffles.)
When the crew arrives on their adventure, they’re not riding real horses; they’re riding these pygmy ponies that look like something Lisa Vanderpump would have in a corral in her backyard and they’re called Baccarat and Louboutin. They also do this weird Icelandic trot where they seem to walk like people and it’s the scariest thing I’ve ever seen. We’re all at home worried about M3gan, meanwhile we should be worried about the Horse Corps trying to take over humanity. While they are halfway through their journey, one of the guides says, “You all look like Vikings.” um they don’t not. If big, hairy Vikings with their metal helmets, battle axes, and beards as long as the end credits of Avatar: James Cameron loves water I rode tiny little horses that did prancing, no, chopped —their way to battle no one would be afraid of them. They don’t look like Vikings; they look like cake-drunk kids at a petting zoo.
Meanwhile, Jess is back on board cooking lunch and there is no one to eat it. She is mad at Faye for not taking the guests there. Um, they were late for horseback riding. What happened to going with the flow, Jess? She then gives the crew lunch because she cooked a full meal when there was no one on the damn ship. After the trip, the guests are starving, as Faye knew she would pass. One of the guests says, “I guess we’re on a diet now,” because Faye was only able to make a plate of cheese and some crudité because Jess didn’t help her. They order more food, and Faye can’t say, “Well, Jess refused to cook because she hates me, so now you can just eat this slushy brie and some limp celery.”
When Jess talks to Faye when they get back, Faye tells her that the guests weren’t impressed with her lunch and Jess gets upset. “It’s not that there wasn’t lunch. There was a fucking. I cooked everything for lunch,” she says. Yeah, you cooked everything when no one was going to be there, and they had no plans to return. All of this so Jess doesn’t have to cook off site, which she hates. She says that Faye planned it badly. No, Faye planned it. perfectly; Jess’s impetuosity and lack of flexibility spoiled everything.
Jess is not only unable to take responsibility, but also rats Faye out to Captain Kerry, who has ripped her head off. field and current to do his job for a day. He calls Faye to the bridge to talk to her, but he doesn’t even understand her version of her story. He simply tells her to “figure it out.” This is a perfect illustration of why Kerry sucks. Imagine if you were in college and you had a zombie as a roommate. The zombie complains about you to the AR. They don’t ask about his health or safety or his version of the story; they just tell you to figure it out. Well, I’m sorry, but there is no solution with a zombie. That son of a bitch is going to try to eat your brain until the AR gives him another room or kills him. Meanwhile, you’re stuck trying to make it work with someone who wants to destroy you.
Kerry can’t kill the zombie; she says that she will supervise in the kitchen. That night, Jess and Faye make it work because he’s supervising. Sorry, standing over everyone watching them work is not a solution. So he has to be there every time a meal is served. He needs to figure out the problem, who’s wrong (it’s pretty consistently Jess, though Faye isn’t an angel), and help them get past his problems. He’s not doing any of that.
Meanwhile, there’s our other candidate for Employee of the Never, Seth. Ugh, this guy. She freaks out at Nathan for walking into his shared room and not being as quiet as Seth wants him to be. For a guy who keeps bragging about his experience in the industry, he should know how to bunk-share. “You have no fucking respect for your roommate,” he tells Nathan. Um, and how is this respectful? Couldn’t she go and explain it quietly to Nathan later? God, this guy is an idiot.
Nathan comes out and complains to the rest of the crew about it, and Matt is talking to Karen about how he wishes Seth wasn’t head sailor, a position, like Hot Carl, that doesn’t exist in the real, real universe. She then gets mad because Matt asks why he wants to be in a leadership position. Duh, I know why. It’s because he’s an insecure asshole and likes to inflate his ego by being mean to inferiors. Hey!
It’s even worse later when Karen catches him napping in the crew mess and sends a picture to her boss. Um, that’s a truth you can’t dispute, my friend. He tells Lewis that he was just “resting his eyes” like she was your grandmother, and she fell asleep at the Thanksgiving table. She then complains to Lewis about how bad her night shift is. This is the guy who says, “When I tell you to do something, you do it and you don’t complain.” Here he does not Y complaining about it.
That’s what I hate most about Seth and Jess: the hypocrisy. It is requiring people to do things that they themselves refuse to do. It is painting others to look like bad employees when they are no better. These are traps that they set themselves. If they kept their heads down and did their job, no one would care.
After the guests from the horse rental, Seth doesn’t know where to put the fenders because it stinks, and then the boat picks up his next guests, a group from Singapore, including aspiring fashion designer Carol Chen. Now, the episode is called “Crazy Rich Charter Guests.” I would say that everyone who can afford this ship is incredibly rich, but it seems clear that the episode is trying to make a crazy rich asians joke. Sure, it’s great to see diversity in charter guests, but it seems like this kind of exposure is ditching one set of Asian stereotypes for a whole new set.
Dinner is supposed to be at eight, but the women are in their rooms getting ready until 9:50, so dinner is two hours late, and Jess is angrier than George Santos when her mother (not) died on 11 of September. The guests want the dinner to be family style, which Jess doesn’t like. When he introduces the food, he says, “I usually do it plated, but family style was requested. So tomorrow night we’ll have lots of fabulous food.” So she told the guests, to their faces, that what they want is wrong, that it’s better her way, and that they’ll get what she thinks is best the next night. Once again, where does this go with the flow?
As dinner is being served, Kerry walks into the kitchen and tells Jess to stop complaining. Hey man. The last card is an incredible time to take a position. Where were you a month ago when you could have put the season on a different course? He calls her at the bridge the next day and tells her that what she’s doing in the kitchen borders on intimidating for her and that she needs to stop. Kerry, my friend. You should have paid enough attention to your crew to know how bad it was in the kitchen, how her relationship with Faye had deteriorated (that she’s not innocent!), and how this affected the guest experience. That’s what Seth is learning about being a leader: It all comes down to you. I’m sorry Kerry. I guess that makes you the worst. Okay, maybe second to Jess.